Thursday 13th November - Pub Golf Tournament (grad week day 4)

Starts: 3.30pm Little Creatures, Fishing Boat Harbour, Fremantle

Culminates: before midnight as we enter Club Bay View, Claremont

More info read below (read more) or contact organiser: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

Friends, bogans, country clubbers.

Train Crawl is an event close to my heart. Ask around, you will find out that I absolutely 100 percent destroy myself at any sanctioned drinking event involving trains. As a result, this event will function under a new guise to trick my subconscious into thinking that pacing myself is a good idea. I give you: PUB GOLF.

HISTORY
Admittedly, this is not a new concept. Adapted from the traditional halfway house stops permitted along a round of 18 holes, golfers everywhere asked the same burning question- why wait four hours to bang back a scotch and soda when you could do so during the round at a halfway house? Golf is a thirsty sport.

Soon, golfers were bringing hip flasks to courses and steadying their nerves pre-swing. The problem was the golf. It became harder and harder to concentrate, swing through the ball and stay on your feet. Pioneers of pub golf eventually did away with the golfing and started taking the drinking more seriously.

DETAILS

Enough history. On Thursday the 13th of November, pub golf comes to you. Beginning at 3:30pm at Little Creatures in Fremantle, a select course of 9 watering holes has been chosen for our grad week celebrations. With five holes in Fremantle, this will be an excellent chance for all the 2009 Freo freaks to get to know the area intimately and all the RPH and Charlies nerds to regret their choices..

Following the general looting and pillaging of Fremantle, we will commandeer a train to Cottesloe for another hole before re-boarding and ending up in Claremont for the last few holes of night golf. From experience, you want to keep the train time to a minimum, hence the truncated ‘train crawl’ format.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, I will lay down the rules for you:

1.    Each hole (pub) has an allocated drink and a par. The par represents the number of attempts recommended to finish the drink.
2.    You will be given a scorecard to record how many attempts it took to finish the drink. Of note, holes in one are legendary.
3.    There will be a lads and ladies courses, predominantly beer and spirits for lads, vino and spirits for ladies.
4.    If you order the wrong drink (it happens) it is considered a bunker shot. No matter how many attempts you take to finish your drink, your score is par plus one.
5.    If you are caught with a glass of water, you suffer a one shot water penalty. Sanctioned water stops will be part of the program.

Any questions or rule clarifications should be made to: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

Now, a few important issues need to be covered before I stop procrastinating.

GOLFING GARB
A must, essential, imperative. There will be awards not only to the winner of the lads and ladies courses but also to best dressed. However, it is hardly necessary to go buy a costume, dig around your folks or grandparents gear for a hat or chequed shorts. One signature piece is enough. Dress codes in Claremont are notoriously harsh to pub golfers so I recommend parking around Claremont and leaving some clothes in the car- dress shoes and a collared shirt Any questions about where to park etc, email me.

FOOD AND MONEY
Along the way, several opportunities arise for eating at pubs or along the street. From past experience I recommend you take these opportunities before you hit Hungry’s in Claremont at 2am in the morning. On the money front, pub golfing can get costly, but I assure you it will be as close to $60 as I can make it. I will be doing extensive undercover research to ensure this. Some holes will even involve a few free drinks. But if your haven’t already got a smart-rider, get on it while you’re a student.

THE COVERSTORY
From experience, the last thing you want after a massive golf tournament is complaints about your demeanour. Golfing is a proud sport and I aim to uphold that traditional. Hence we need a good cover story if anyone asks. I considered saying we’re Notre Dame nerds but I think this will be counter-productive when they see what awesome people we are.
Following our meteoric rise to the ranks of full-time employment, I think it only fitting that we flip UWA backwards and call ourselves the AWU- Australian Worker’s Union. We have a proud history of annual pub-golfing and this year celebrate the coming together of the younger generation of trade unionists ie us. Below is a hilarious plug from their website, rich and compelling: http://www.awu.net.au/wa
The Australian Workers' Union is Australia's oldest Trade Union. It was established in 1886, its birthplace being the Eureka Stockade.
The AWU has a proud history of defending the rights of workers in government instrumentalities, agricultural, mining, manufacturing, processing, timber and a host of other industries.The AWU is one Australia's largest and strongest Unions.
Unity is Strength
The Union is a group of people with common interests who have joined together to maintain and improve their wages and working conditions.
The chances are that your employer is a member of a union. It may be the Chamber of Commerce and Industry or The Federation of Forest Industries.
Why do they join an association but try to discourage you from doing the same?
Pressure Group
The Union fights for the interest of its members in a variety of ways.
The Union lobbies politicians on industrial health and safety, employment and training issues.
You need a strong voice to ensure that when political decisions are being made, your legitimate interests are taken into account. For more: http://www.awu.net.au/wa

SUMMARY

Anything else? Probably just say I’m excited, but not as excited as big Kev Reynolds, he is literally frothing over the idea of pub golfing AWU members.
Have a cracker studying, any questions email me or find me on the 1st floor of the med library firing up at the year 12s.
Otherwise, I’ll see you at Little Creatures on Thursday the 13th. 3:30pm, arrive sharply, first hole is a leisurely pint/vino and you’ll have til 4pm to drink it while we assemble and talk technique.
Jono

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